Return to Youth
by Andil
Summary: Snape must deal with the peculiar aftereffects of a potion gone awry. chap 6 is up! Something else gone wrong?
1. A Fatal Mistake

A/N: This fic is done entirely in Snape's point of view, and if you have read anything else of mine, you will find it is a bit different.  A bit better written, and I have spent a lot more time working on it.  I worked on this one like I do my novels, and I rewrote it before I typed it.  I do hope you enjoy.  

Disclaimer:  I don't own Professor Snape, no matter how much I would desire to, nor any other character of J.K. Rowling.  Though, I do own the Wond-Air Chair, and a few miscellaneous characters you will encounter later on in the story, so that is unimportant for right now.  So don't sue me.

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**_Chapter 1- A Fatal Mistake_**

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            "What sort of effect is produced by adding powder of Baby Mandrake root to a potion?" I scanned over the class, this awful stupid, horrible class.  All of them seventh years, and none of them, not one, was up to par in their potions.  I would have thought my very **own **house would have produced someone at least a **_little _**bit adequate in this class.  Unfortunately, there was only one of the seventh year Slytherins that had the passion for potions such as I.  I sighed as I once again scanned the room.  Seventh year Basic Potions… There were a few faces missing from it, but only five of them.  Those fortunate five had decided to take my advanced potions class this last year of their tutelage here at Hogwarts, those extremely few who decided to tolerate me to advance their learning.  I felt the sneer sneak upon my face as I looked to the table that sat my only reason for actually looking forward to this class.  Fortunately, only two of the 'golden trio' were here, as that know-it-all Granger decided to be smart, for once, and take my Advanced Potions class- where she was much more tolerable for me- and away from those two, as that is where I credit the fact she was more tolerable.  My sneer widened as I cowered near 'the-boy-who-lived-who-defeated-he-who-must-not-be-named' and most likely gained an evil twinkle within my eye.  I stayed silent a moment, watching the boy squirm and shuffle through his papers frantically, now used to the way that I single him out.  Stealthily, I suppose, I slammed the flat end of my hand down on the table, which made the boy jump, looking up at me over the thick frames that rested on his nose.  "Mr. Potter… Would you, perchance, know the effect of this?" The boy stopped shuffling the papers, sighed, and looked me dead in the eye.  Was that annoyance I seen in his eyes?

            "No, Professor Snape, I do not." I backed away from him, and then sharply turned away from him in a way that made my robes flow behind me dramatically.

            "Ten points from Gryffindor." I heard him groan, as well as much of the rest of the class as I returned to my space in the front of the class.  I stayed facing away from them a moment, and then schooled my face to an extra-menacing expression, and then again turned to them quickly.  "Does anyone else in this class know the answer?" No… Of course not, why should ANY of them actually LISTEN to me the previous class and actually have DONE the said reading assignment?  Why, it was only the second class of the year…. I flexed my hand a moment, it took every last thread of my self control and patience to avoid throwing my hands up in the air in frustration, walk out of the room, and then find Albus to tell him that I was canceling seventh year potions at that moment.  Instead, I set my haw in sheer determination; these insufferable prats were going to pay dearly for that… Had Malfoy, or even, Merlin forbid, Granger been within this class, at least I would have SOME form of intelligible life forms within the room, but by Merlin's grave…  "Since none of you seem to have studied you text, like you **should **have over this past week, I will now require ten pages of NEATLY scripted research on the uses of Powdered Baby Mandrake Root, and how it compares to the more adult form of the same kind." I pointedly glared sown the entire class, and I heard one of the Gryffindor's… Longbottom I am thinking, gulp audibly.  "It will be due on the BEGINNING of the next class." I watched the time for a moment… Good… Class would be done in… twenty seconds…. "In the next class we will make a potion to demonstrate the effects of Powdered Baby Mandrake Rood."  Seven seconds… "It seems that this class period has run out of time.  I expect these papers to be complete, and handed in at the **beginning **of class…. Otherwise… I **will **be giving out detentions." I paused… The class was over… finally.  "You are dismissed."

            Every last one of my students grabbed their things, and then ran for the door.  I fthere was something I never had a problem with was emptying my unwanted classes.  As the last of the little rodents left my classroom, I sighed.  I had just condemned all the seventh years from my own house to detention.  Most of my students feared me, even from my own house, but they at least, I think, held me in awe as well… Oh well, they should have studied, the lot of them.  I turned to my seventh year advanced potions paperwork and notes.  Tomorrow the class truly started… There were only about fifteen students in the class, and oddly enough most of them were from Hufflepuff.  I hate Hufflepuff; the name just falls funny on the tongue… I muttered it aloud, then half laughed.  I wonder how the woman got through life with a name like that… Must have insisted everyone call her Helga no doubt.

            "What in the world are you laughing about?" I looked up to the source that had omitted the voice.  He stared at me with amusement glittering in his silvery blue eyes, his platinum blonde hair slicked back in the usual fashion.  It was none other than Draco Malfoy, the top student of my own house.  He should have been head boy seeing he was number two in the entire school academically, same as Granger should have been head girl as she was the number one student academically in the entire school.  I glared at the boy.

            "Inside joke." I raised my brow.  "May I ask what it is you desire, Mr. Malfoy?" He raised one of his eyebrows at me; perhaps the word desire was the wrong choice of vocabulary.  After a small moment, very small as to the fact I am rather impatient, and more so at this moment than usual considering that blasphemic class I had just moments ago.  I spoke.  "Are you just going to stand there, smiling like a git, or are you going to stop wasting my time, and tell me **why **you are here?"

            "Oh yes, that.  Sorry, the words that you said before distracted me."  I groaned, rather happy that I was never going to have to suffer the effects of maturing male hormones again.

            "Please Mr. Malfoy, I do not wish to hear anything of how well, or not so well, your sex life has been as of late." I had already heard enough of the boy's endeavors to last me a lifetime… He wasn't called the sweetheart of Slytherin for nothing.

            "Sorry Snape.  I got pulled aside by McGonagall a few minutes ago, told me to seek you out, and tell you that you need to meet with Professor Dumbledore by tonight."  I raised an eyebrow at him.

            "Might I ask **why **she sent you, instead of telling me this herself?" The boy shrugged.

            "She is McGonagall?  How am I supposed to know?  She doesn't speak to me if she doesn't have to, you know that." I smirked at him.

            "No one speaks to you unless they have to , unless it is Crabbe, Goyle or myself." He smiled at that one.

            "You're one to speak.  The only ones around here that are actually willing to speak to you is myself and Dumbledore.  As for everyone else, they only do if they are FORCED to.  Probably because you're so damned depressing." He paused, giving me a closer look as I picked up a goblet of water for a dink, and then brought it to my lips, letting the cool liquid slide down my parched throat.  "How long has it been since you were last laid anyways?" I choked on the cool liquid, and then slammed the goblet down.

            "HOW IN THE BLOODY HELL did you get from the subject of telling me I had a meeting with Albus, to discussing my non-existent sex life?" He looked up at me with those seemingly innocent looking eyes of his… Like bloody hell they were.

            "Well, that is simple; first you asked my McGon-" I shushed him.

            "I damned well know HOW you got to that point Malfoy.  I just don't understand why you always must bring it up." As I spoke in my most acidic tone, the annoying little prat shrugged, smirking at me.

            "I was only suggesting…" He trailed off, leaving the suggestion in the air.  Perfect time to change the subject…

            "How is your extra credit coming with Flitwick?"

            "It is fine, only a few more pages and it will be done." He sneered, "Hope I'm one step ahead of that mudblood this time.  I think Father would have a conniption if I didn't catch up to her this year." I nodded slowly to this.

            "That is most likely." The boy's father WAS extremely strict with him, though I'm sure that he cared for him in his own, rather odd way.  Though, for some reason the boy sought refuge with me, and strangely enough I have come to care for him as a son over the years.  He was my best student, having a passion for potions such as I.  He was also stuck in the very same situation I had been in when I myself was his age.  The only difference being that he didn't WANT to do what his father wanted, and actually had the desire to fight it.

            "Have you…" He pursed his lips, and then looked around the room quickly as if checking that the coast was clear for him to speak.  He leaned in closer to be as if it were to help and whispered, "Have you spoken to … You-Know-Who about You-Know-What?" What is it with wizards and these bloody annoying idioms?  As if speaking a name would incriminate you… The only times I ever used such things is when referring to Voldemort.  Oh, excuse me, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, rather, though I rarely naturally say it that way.  I raised my brow to him.

            "Anxious are you?" I watched the boy clench his jaw, obviously nervous.  "Yes, I have spoken to him, though, I was not yet able to relay the whole situation to him as of yet.  I will inform you when I receive more information, do not worry of this situation, there is yet the rest of the school year ahead of you, Young Malfoy." After learning he did not want to follow in his father's footsteps and become a deatheater, I had taken it upon myself to see that he wouldn't.  For the past five years I have been working on a plan of escape for him.  What can I say on the matter?  He has become my obsession.  Perhaps for the reason that I l do not wish for him to end up like myself.  I squared my jaw as I looked at him.  "You know that I will do everything in my power to help you escape a fate such as my own." He donned a half grin that I recognized as something oddly similar to Weasley's, and I once again raised my brow.  How extremely unfitting for him… He then turned to leave me without a verbal response to my words to him, and just before he left, he turned back to me.

            "Thank you Professor Snape… For everything." I nodded to him, and then he finished leaving my room.  I felt the smile force itself upon my lips and I did nothing to hide it; after all, why not?  It wasn't as if there were any staff members or student around at the moment to witness my unguarded moment.  Contrary to popular belief, I actually DO have a heart residing within my chest, and the fact I have been spying for the order for so long, so I should hope anyways, should prove that point very well.  As I thought of what I was, I raised my hand to my arm, over the impossible to remove dark mark I have donned for half my life.  Even after Volde… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was finally destroyed the mark remained.  It was completely unfair, and all the deatheaters congregated at least once a month still, for the love of Merlin.  Trying to find a replacement for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, who had the perfect ideals, and was willing, and had the stomach to bring those ideals to life.  I, thankfully, was quickly discarded of the opportunity.  I had been once of those people once, scorning and degrading mudbloods and the like, they didn't deserve a place amongst us true, pureblooded wizards.  I had kept that ideal for far too long.  How is it then that I ended up spying for the order then? In a rather nasty manner, I found that I wasn't as radical or sadistic about t all, meaning though I didn't approve of them, I didn't think they outright deserved to be slaughtered over their parentage.  Maybe denied, or make them work harder at it to make them deserving of the man some, but certainly not death.  This is what made me switch sides, along with my own guilt of course.

            Oddly enough it was the current seventh year class that made me reconsider my ideals.  Outside of Malfoy and that damned Potter boy, there were other students I had noticed.  Especially those students that were incompetent and messed up everything they ever did.  Two of them, unfortunate as it may be, were from my own house.  It would figure that my own house would produce such doldrums that most likely couldn't think of a single sentence by themselves, and they were none other than Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle; Malfoy's stupid little sidekicks.  Then there was of course Gryffindor's own near-squib Neville Longbottom who pushed the edges of my patience to the brink of nonexistence far too many times.  Pureblood hell, don't make me laugh… Then on the top of it all was Gryffindor's greatest student, Hermione Granger; the one person who made me question my ideals.  A mudblood, bushy brown hair, big curious brown eyes, and a bit of a heartthrob if I do say so myself, especially after she ridded herself of those hideous metal atrocities that resided inside her mouth last year… Not that she would ever take advantage of such a thing.  Of course not, she decided on books more so than boyfriends.  She simply amazed me, this girl.  Too bad she was in Gryffindor though; she would have made a wonderful Slytherin… Would have won a quarter of the house points for us, added to Malfoy; who DOES win a quarter of the house points, and not just because he is the seeker for the Quidditch team.  No I credit all the points made there to the whole team, and what a team we have this year.  Oh dear, once again I seem to find myself ranting on about my oh so wonderful house- pity.  Back to what I was saying – Hermione Granger, I believe it was.  She was brilliant, especially in potions, and was everything contrary to everything I thought a mudblood to be.  Of course, due to her brilliance, I had to continuously ignore the girl, else of course I actually **_wish _**to give away house points to Gryffindor, and trust me, that I was **NOT **fond of doing.  Somehow, she had become part of the miscreant 'golden trio' and was such a complete contrast to Weasley and Harry 'oh so wonderful' Potter.  Humph, stupid boy was just like his father was… Continuously getting into trouble, breaking every known school rule and yet the boy was still looked upon as a hero; it was PREPOSTEROUS!  -Although, the boy **did **defeat Voldemort, but that was beside the point.

            Sighing, I quickly put the papers away, feeling that they were about in as much order as they would ever be, and there was no trying to concentrate on important things when there was other things on my mind.  That usually meant missing something important, and that was never good.  I brushed my fingers through my hair… and then quickly shook my hand afterwards to rid it of the nasty feeling.  My hair was far too greasy, not that it mattered to me really, not anymore.  Though, there was a time I **did **care a bit, but that was so long ago, before that fateful night… I clenched my eyes attempting to hide the memory that was trying to barge through the barricade that was my conscious mind.  That memory always worked its way back to the surface every now and then, no matter how hard I tried to forget, no matter how many memory charms were performed to rid me of it.  Sure, they had worked for a while, but for some reason or other, the memories would return to me, to torture me, the memories of that night; the night that chanced me forever…

            I put my fingers to my large, hooked, and a bit crooked nose remembering the pain of it.  I sighed once more, dropping my hand to my side in defeat, and then decided that I should now go see the headmaster for this little meeting, and get it over and done with.  After all, what else could it be?  I stood, and started to make my way to his office, and as I did such I felt a small familiar twinge of pain in my left knee.  Merlin, I was starting to become old.  I sighed for the millionth time this day, at the melancholy of it all.  When I was younger, I had sworn off anything to do with this bloody school and all the people inhabiting it, and now this place was my life.  Something pf a paradox really, I most likely would never have a wife or children. Oddly it wasn't the wife I would miss the most out of my could-have-been life, but it would be the children.  I shall always mourn the fact I will never have any, as I rather do desire to have them, to spite appearances.  I groaned inwardly, it would never do me any good to dwell on what may have been.  Instead I should be more thankful that I am privileged enough to be spending my days within these walls instead of Azkaban's.  It was a wonder Albus forgave me for what I had done, as I have never, nor will I ever, forgive myself for it.  I hastened my walk in determination to get to this meeting faster.  The sooner this was over, the sooner I could hide within my life here, as a master professor of potions.  The joy of it all… Right, just continue to tell that to yourself, Severus.

            Soon I found myself nearing the large stone Phoenix that guarded the headmaster's office, and I stood before it.  "Sherbet Lemon, Crème de Menthe" This man… had issues… Slowly the stone bird rose, revealing a tall spiraling staircase in its wake.  I couldn't keep my mind from wondering as I stood before the slowly rising stairs a moment.  Sherbet lemon, and Crème de menthe… My nose wrinkled in disgust, such an odd combination.  Sometimes I wonder about our dear headmaster; setting the password as his current favorite sweet at the time.  I shook my head free of thoughts as the staircase reached its destination, finally, and I stepped up to them, taking a deep breath a moment before climbing up them.

            "I've been waiting for you Severus.  Do come in, have a seat." I finished climbing the stairs and then peered at him; he was standing near one of the staircases that led up to his desk.  I looked at him a moment before responding.

            "As I've noticed." He smiled at me, that damned happy, naive looking smile of his.

            "Come, follow me Severus, there is much I need to discuss with you." I nodded lightly and followed him when he went up the staircase.  As I reached top of it, I realized that the office was rather… void of the essentials for a staff meeting.  Such as per say, the other staff members of the school.  Suspicion started to ebb its way into my chest, and I have him a cold, hard stare.

            "Why do I have that odd, nagging sensation that your asking me here, has more to it than meets the eye?" The headmaster gave me a curt nod, then proceeded to walk behind his desk and sit in his overly large chair.  He passively waved his hand.

            "Come sit Severus, I have much to discuss with you, and might I add, that you thinking this was a meeting of the staff was of your own misconception, and not my own.  For I have spoken only of my desire for you to come to my office, so if you will, stop giving me that look of contempt and treason, and come sit." How was it he always sounded so bloody cheerful about everything?

            "So you did." I forced myself to briefly swallow my overbearing pride, and sit down across from him, though I **did **keep my eyes at a cold stare.  As much as I admired, as well as cared for this man, I was not about to obey him in full.  It just wasn't going to happen.  "So what is the abomination of a reason that you've decided to pull me away from my important work schedule?" He smiled lightly at me, somehow he was always able to see straight through my façade.  There really wasn't anything else I had to do today, at least, other than to come see him, really.

            "Do not worry Severus, it is a matter of importance that I have summoned you here today." He paused, and suddenly his face became grim and solemn.  I raised one of my brows at him, he rarely ever donned that look, and it seemed only when there was something truly troubling him.

            "Yes, Headmaster?"

            "However, I must say this situation is not one that is lighthearted, I'm afraid.  It is one I would rather have avoided, but I know FAR too well what avoiding undesirable situations can do." A shadow passed his face, and I knew he was speaking of the incident that had occurred two years ago.  I frowned, Albus always put himself at fault for that, and I knew that I didn't really help matters any at that time.  I suppose my pride and hatred for the boy got in the way of duty, and I… messed up, to say the least.  Lets just say, I haven't been trusted to 'try and help him' again… Oh well, I really didn't want to do it in the first place, really.  But what could have been as dreary as the news of the prophecy?  Was I being forced to resign?

            "Have they decided that the has been deatheater is no longer of any use to have at the school?" He chuckled softly, and I felt oddly relieved as an unnoticed pressure lifter itself from my chest.  No, no Severus, it is not that at all, rather the opposite instead.  The ministry was rather impressed with your role in bringing down Voldemort; and-" I cut him off.

            "What role?" I hadn't done anything except flub up on Harry Potter, the golden one's, occlumency training, and give much incorrect, though unintentionally incorrect, information about the happenings with the other deatheaters over the past few years.  Obviously Volde… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named found out about my deception, most likely when he was embedded in the back of Quirrell's head, and I had my 'talk' with him about where his alliances lay.  Oh, the ode to the mistakes I have made…

            "The fact you even tried- and it was my own error in judgment to have you personally try to get Harry to-"

            "But Headmaster you didn't-" He put his hand up for me to stop, and I silenced myself.

            "Please Severus, do not interrupt me.  You have had a much harder time than most of us during these wars, if you would call it that." He was the one who sighed this time, and then laughed lightly, without a hint of humor.  "My, I seem to have gotten off the subject of what it is that I had brought you here for to begin with.  The ministry has found something of importance, and they passed it along to me.  I know that I should pass it along to you as well, no matter my sentiment on the subject…" He took a deep breath, and then looked to me, deep within my eyes, as if seeing down into the core of my soul.  My, how uncomfortable.  "You know Severus, you are like a son to me.  I would never wish you harm, yet by merely having the mark upon your arm, you must endure mych more harm than I would ever deem as reasonable." He paused again, as if forcing himself to say something.  "But because of your attempts, the ministry told me of the importance of it the moment they had recovered it."

            "And what was it, may I ask, that they found?"  I found myself inching forward, betrayed by my own unabashed curiosity.

            "A potion Severus, that may have the power to release you of your mark." My heart stopped, I swear that it did.  Take off the mark?  It just was not possible, I had already tried everything in my power to do already, and had given up years ago.  Well, short of killing Voldemort, but even when they boy wonder finally off and killed him last year, the blasted thing remained.

            "How?" was the single word I could force from my lips.

            "A potion that has been lost for many generations **may **hold the potential of removing the abomination on your arm… The Estevaris Potion, I trust you have heard of this." At the mention of the name that spark of hope fell from my being, and into non-existence.  

            "Why should I care for a potion that is lost?  And yes, I have heard of this before, but it is of no use to me as it seems it no longer exists."

            "Ah yes, it **doesn't **exist any longer." Strange man… annoying… must hold temper down…

            "May I ask why you are telling me of a potion that no longer exists?"

            "Ah, Severus, please be patient." I sighed, and then leaned back into the chair I was sitting in.  There was no arguing with this man… He held out a small box that looked suspiciously familiar.  "Sherbet Lemon Crème de Menthe drop?" A look of horror must have passed my face, for he immediately retreated his hand with the box.  "No, I suppose not." He carefully tucked it away, just after popping one of the odd candies into his mouth.  "Good, now then, where was I?  Oh yes, the potions.  As I was saying the potion itself no longer exists.  But-" He held up a finger to emphasize this, "it has been recently discovered that the maker of the potion left behind the instructions for making it.  The ministry came across it when someone off and decided to try and make it themselves." I raised a brow.

            "How would this alert the ministry of the potion?"

            "Yes, well it seems that at the end of the scroll, in fine print and in another nearly dead language, the maker wrote a warning.  If even the most miniscule ingredient or timing is off, the potion will be ruined, and in many cases, death can occur.  It is unfortunately the latter of these that occurred to the poor soul that attempted to make this potion."

            "I see." I tried to hide it, but a small smile betrayed me and began to form upon the corners of my lips.

            "Severus…" His tone was dangerously low, and I stopped the thoughts screaming through my mind, held down that oddly renewed hope, and forced myself to pay attention to this man.  "I know that you are a master of potions, to which you worked very hard to achieve, but this potion is extremely dangerous.  The only one known to brew this successfully was the creator himself." He leaned back into his chair looking somewhat defeated.  "I also know this is your choice." He then opened a drawer to his desk and lifted out a small scroll, then handed it to me.  I gingerly took it between my fingers… This… This could be the way… "Please… Just keep in mind, my dear Severus, I do not wish to **_lose _**my potion's master this year." I looked away from the parchment and directed my attentions to him once again, and then nodded slowly.

            "I will see to it you don't, no matter what it is I decide." To spite my words, I had already decided, in fact it was the moment he had told me of the scroll; though I'm sure he already knew that.  He smiled softly at me.

            "Ah yes, but you cannot blame an old man for worrying for someone he cares for like they are his own, hm?" I gave him a curt nod.

            "I suppose not Headmaster." I stood then, carefully holding onto the parchment within my long fingers.  "I suppose that is all then?" He nodded sadly, more than likely knowing of my decision.

            "Yes, I'm afraid so.  Please, do be careful, Severus."

            "Of course Headmaster." With that I turned from him, not waiting for his response, and then headed directly to my personal laboratory.  Contrary to what everyone in this place believes, I do NOT brew my potions within my classroom.  I swiftly made my way down the halls, my robes threateningly billowing behind me, as I avoided any eye contact whit any of the students.  Finally, I reached my chambers located on the third floor.  Yes, third floor, not the dungeons, ruining all misconceptions and 'known' facts about myself.  Not that it was a first choice, but at the time I had arrived at Hogwarts, it was the only choice, for it was the only livable place in the building not already occupied.  As soon as I had finally settled in a place in the dungeons had opened, but as it had taken me nearly two years to fully settle into my current place, I decided to stay.  Besides, I had the luxury of having a window in my lab, which oddly, was good for ventilation, or if a potion actually **needed **sunlight.  It would be easier to push back light repelling curtains, than it would to produce a light spell.  Perhaps it was a bit lazy, but even I have an imperfection here and there.  Speaking of imperfections…

            I removed my robe, and then haphazardly threw it on the back of my chair.  It looked a bit odd though, my robe looking as if it were just hanging in mid-air like that.  The chair was one of those new fangled inventions, though it was rather comfortable – once you were able to find it.  The Wond-Air chair was something of a spectacle in itself, as it was rather invisible.  Now that I am done doting, oddly, on my favorite chair, lets get back to the reason I am in here in the first place.  I rolled my sleeve up and touched my forearm delicately… the dark mark.  Soon… Oh so very soon I shall be rid of you…

            After giving what was most likely an evilly sadistic grin, I delicately opened the scroll in which I was holding.  After looking over it, I quickly gathered the ingredients, which thankfully were all present within my personal store.  I would be able to finish this as quickly as possible without having to hunt down near-impossible ingredients, and that was always a good thing.  Perhaps after the mark is gone they would finally allow me to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts.  I sighed, even if it WERE gone, I doubt they would allow me to switch classes.  I suppose that was my own fault, having such a passion for potions that I had decided to become a master of them.  Very well… I shook my head clear of thoughts, and then continued with the needed things.  As it was a very complicated potion, it took up most of my lab space; I worked as quickly as possible, setting everything up, and then starting the process.  A touch of this, a finely grated batwing, as well as many, many other steps as well.

            For hours I staved away in the lab, how many I am not so sure on, but they all went by in a blur.  The excitement of finally having a way, perhaps, to remove the bloody mark- it must have gotten to me.  I had set the potion instructions on the only free counter space there was left, near my Wond-Air chair and underneath a new shipment of potions and elixirs I had received still in the box.  Note to self- deliver those to Poppy when I am finished with this potion… Slowly I found myself nearing the end.  Nearly finished.  Oh Merlin, it was nearly done…

            Excitement bolted through my veins like fire as I carefully and expertly added the last of the ingredients.  It only needed to simmer for a short time now… The fire within me grew to new heights… Hope.  This odd and heart gripping feeling must be true hope.  I felt my lips curl up into a smile, odd, I believe I have smiled more this day than I had for the entire past month…  I then set the cauldron on the only empty spot available.  Oddly, that spot was next to the scroll, right underneath that package I must deliver to Poppy.  I stood, staring at it for a moment.  Twelve more minutes and it will be finished, and then I will have approximately five seconds to down the potion before it would turn into poison… I stood watching it for a while, noting the slowly ticking time and I started to fidget.  No use standing there, staring expectantly like a git at a bubbling potion, so I headed to my rooms, where to spite my effort of self control, I ended up pacing around the place ruthlessly.  Within four minutes of doing this there was a knock at the door.  I held my breath and stopped dead in my tracks.  Damn it all!  It had to be either Malfoy or Dumbledore, and neither of the two was I willing to talk to at this particular moment.

            "Professor Snape!  Are you in there?" I remained silent, hoping that the disturbance would go away.  It was Malfoy.  Damnable child… "I know you're in there, I can hear your insufferable breathing.  I have something important to tell you." I sighed.  I only had four minutes left now… Clenching my teeth, I went over to the door and slammed it open.

            "What is it Malfoy?  It better be important, I am not afraid to take points away from my own house you know." I paused, letting the information sink in, and the boy remained silent. "It better be important, I haven't much time, so speak quickly." He raised a brow at me and invited himself in.

            "Thought you might be here." He looked around the room, and then went to one of my many bookshelves and picked a picture up that lay there half hidden behind things.  Which was it?  He snickered a moment, held it up for me to see, and pointed to a figure in it.  All the blood drained from my face.  Oh, that one… I thought I had packed that away… "Is this you?" I clenched my teeth.  Indeed, it **was **a picture of me, sort of… I was half hidden in the picture, standing nervously behind her… Dezrah Arasin.  I was supposed to marry her, but as anyone can see, that worked out well… heh.

            "Mind your own business Malfoy." He gave a half laugh.

            "I thought so.  Didn't know you were so… pretty though." He outright laughed at that, and I snatched the picture from him.  I didn't like to remember those days… Before Voldemort, before the disfiguring to my face, my nose… In the picture my hair, though still greasy as it were, was at least orderly and tied back, so it looked rather descent.  My nose… a bit smaller without the hook, or the crookedness that was now a signature appearance for me, but long and regal-like.  I shivered at the memories his words brought back to my mind.  Yes, unfortunately I was considered to be a bit… 'pretty' as it were.  I put the picture facedown on the table and glared at him.

            "State your business, you have a minute now.  And a half actually."

            "A bit grouchy are we?" I sent him the coldest, most treacherous looking glare I could muster, and he cleared his throat.  "Fine.  It's about my father, he just told me he was voted in… you know, for THAT spot."  Malfoy?  They voted Malfoy in for the lead spot - Without **MY **knowledge?  "Told me they didn't bother to call you in for it, you busy with school and all." Time…

            "Listen, as much as I find this conversation rather... intriguing, I must get back to my work." I paused a moment, and the boy made no moves to leave. "GO!" I shoved him out the door, and then slammed it shut again… SHIT! I had to get back to that potion.  NOW.  I had twenty-four seconds now before the potion would become a very potent poison.  I quickly ran for my lab door, which took me about nine seconds, including fumbling with the door.  As soon as I found my way in, right after slamming the door open, I rushed inside as fast as I possibly could.  By the time I made my way over to the potion, I had less than four seconds to drink it.  I was now only a few feet away from it, and I tried to swallow my heart back into its place within my chest.  I had worked meticulously and to perfection – I had nothing to worry about…

            Oddly enough, it is the next sequence of unfortunate events that ruined all my planning and hard work.  It had happened so quickly as to seem but a blur, that I slow it down to a step-by-step reasoning for this explanation.  As I was about two feet away from the potion, my feet caught on the Wond-Air chair, and I stumbled backwards to gain my balance.  Do not ask me why I had forgotten that I had left that chair there, for I am not sure why, as to this day.  It was something of a major mistake, and I blame it entirely on my frantic state, for I, Professor Severus Snape, Master of potions, and former deatheater, am **_NOT_** a klutz.  Now that I have that clear, lets continue on, shall we?  As I was saying, after the chair caught my leg, it lurched forward.  It then bumped the table with the potion on it, jarring the table, and making the package I needed to deliver to Poppy tip over.  The moment this happened my world went into slow motion.  The moment the package hit it's side, it popped open, spilling some of its contents out of the package.  This is where it goes fatally wrong.  The few bottles and bundles of medicines and potions that DID fall out, two or more of them fell into the happily bubbling cauldron, where my potion lie.  At this time, I am sure I donned an expression not too awfully far from utter despair.  Of course, this did not last long.

            In not even a full second, the oddest thing happened, a pulse of air filled the room, which was closely followed by an explosion of light, so brilliant it was like none I had ever seen before.  Then, and just then, the potion exploded from the place it brewed, covering the room, and covering me totally with its hot glowing liquid.  Shortly after this, my world faded into black, and I fell soundlessly to the floor.

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A/N- Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter; it will be a while before the next one.  I am finishing a chapter to one of my other stories on here, and then I am devoting myself to another chapter in my novel, which is more important to me than anything else I write as I hope to sell it one day.  Then after that, you will get chapter two, which shouldn't take too horribly long as most of the rough draft for that chapter is done.

Also, just in case you were wondering why this is under the category of romance, this will eventually become SS/HG.

Thank you for reading, and I love getting reviews, so tell me what you think!!


	2. Plague of Dreams

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it…

A/N:  This is actually just part of chapter 2, but it is so long I decided to not make you wait forever because I still am working on the rewrite to it.  So here is the first part of chapter 2…. Sorry about the wait…

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 Chapter 2 p1- Plague of dreams 

"Sssseverusss."  A hiss came from behind me, sounding my name slowly.  Lazily I turned my head from my current work and towards him.  He was smiling that devilishly sadistic smile of his.

            "Yes?" He circled me and then put his bony hand upon my shoulder.  I did my best not to shrink away from his touch.

            "Sseveruss my boy… You have been working very hard.  I am proud of you, but I have come to ask how that sspecial project is coming along.  Are you finished yet?"  I nodded.

            "Actually, yes I am.  I finished the final touches to the potion this morning.  Would you like me to go over the details of it now, my lord?" He turned so that I could see him, and he gained a bit of a twinkle in his eyes.

            "Have you taken the potion?"  I felt my face flush and I quickly nodded.  Was I that predictable?

            "Yes of course, I would not let them, or anyone in that matter, take the potion without it being tested first for safety…" He gave a half nod.

            "Such a kind heart… Now, my dear boy, I have a better idea than you just going over the details.  You have studied the spell I suppose as well?" I nodded again.  "Yes well, follow me then."  With that he dropped his hand from my shoulder, and I shrugged off that disgusting uncomfortable feeling that his hand had produced.  Soon I followed him through the endless corridors and rooms.  I felt the desire to inquire where it was he was taking me, but alas, I feared the recoil.  He seemed to be in a pleasant enough mood at the moment, so why spoil it?  We soon reached a large room filled with many of the deatheaters, and my mind started to race.  What was he up to?  Before I could voice my question he paused me with a raise of his hand.

            "Ah, I desire a demonstration." I pursed my brows.

            "A demonstration?" I paused… Surely he wouldn't have me use it on one of our own…  Perhaps he meant on an animal? "On… What exactly?" He smiled again.  This couldn't be good… He then waved his hand up into the air.

            "Bring in the target!" A few of the others, most of whom I did not recognize, brought out a cage.  Odd, I recognized someone.  It was a boy that was a few years my senior, a keeper of the Slytherin team in my school days.  Lucious Malfoy I think his mane was.  I hadn't known he had come here as well, though it was of no surprise to me really.  Perhaps I had spent too many days locked away in my labs brewing and researching… "You have ssaid you would do anything for me, now I tessst thisss."  They pulled back the cloth that hid the target within the cage and I gasped.  No… A girl about my age was tied up, gagged and chained within it, and she looked desperately frightened.  I looked back quickly to him, and then back at the girl.  No, he couldn't, he _wouldn't…_ I looked back at him in a half panic.  "Meet the mudblood, filthy an worthless.  Thisss creature is nothing but a glorified animal and doesn't deserve the name of witch.  I ask you to demonstrate on it, Severusss.  Only a master can use the spell, and if it goes right, nothing bad will happen to it, but if done wrong…" He let the words fall into the air as a disturbing and horrible unfinished thought, and then after a long pause he continued on.  "Not that I care if you go wrong, after all, I AM curious asss to what would happen if it does… Now aren't you?" I gulped down my heart, which seemed to have lodged itself firmly within my throat, which in turn seemed to make it go down, hit my stomach and then they both collided to the floor in a cascade of terror.

            "B-but my lord, I… I've never…" He came down so that his mouth nearly met my ear so that I felt his breath as he spoke; a chill ebbed its way into my spine.

            "Do this for me my boy, and I will see to it that you are rightly rewarded.  Just know that I believe in you, you have had the patience to brew and learn for me…" I gulped as he suddenly pushed me forward.  "Now do this… For me, I know you can…" I heard him move away from me and then everyone near the cage bolted behind me.  So much for trust around here, the cowards.  I looked nervously at my 'target', who was she?

            "Who is she?" I heard an annoyed grumble as I noticed that I had brought my thoughts into spoken word.

            "It does not matter who it is!  It is a poor excuse of a muggle-born!  If you knew its name, you could grow attached to **IT**, and we don't want that now do we?" I clenched my jaw to his words.  He didn't want me to succeed…

            "No…we would not." Her wavy brown tresses flew into disarray when I neared her, struggling against the chains that bound her and held her still within the cage.  I know that I should have stayed my wand, to tell the lord to go flat ass to hell, but I did not.  Instead I face her, this innocent girl, crying out for help muffled through her gag, fear and tears in her eyes with the silent plea not to go through with what I have been told.  I must though, I was as trapped in this as she.  It was the option of killing her, or refusing and be killed along with her- not that much of a choice really.  I still had much work to do, and it was only a few short weeks ago that I learned the extent of the lord's hatred of the muggleborns… The mudbloods… He was actually killing them, and had been for quite some time.  I hadn't worried, I was only working on potions for him, I didn't think that he would actually have ME kill one…

            I raised my wand around and above my head, and all together odd stance, I know, but it was something signature I suppose.  I closed my eyes as the troubles I now felt weighed heavily upon my mind; I must clear my thoughts for this to work… It MUST work…

            Breathing in through my nose I forced myself to become as calm as I possibly could.  I found my center, which can only be described as that odd burning sensation around your heart and stomach and can only be found if you look for it.  I opened my eyes again and I see her shaking, squeezing her eyes shut, knowing there was no longer any hope for her.  My knees suddenly wanted to give way, and I fought not to break down, forcing myself to push my emotions to the back of my mind, bringing all of my attention to the girl.  For the moment I pretended that she was truly an animal; I must finish this task.

            "Antidus Hetsendune" I spoke in a quiet hiss, hopefully with the right pronunciation as I gave a small flick of my wand.  It sputtered a moment and then a light shot forth in the shape of a small ball that enlarged and then circled around her before quickly absorbing into her chest.  A knot of fear ebbed its way into my chest as I watched, hoping that it would work.  I had read of what horrors the spell produced when it had failed, and even if I had read it a million times more it never, NEVER could have prepared me for the sight of it.

            There was a long pause after the light disappeared during which the other deatheaters whispered and laughed at me behind my back, and then when they were just starting to leave, it began.  A glow started to appear again where it had before vanished and then slowly grew in size until it had engulfed her form entirely.  Suddenly wind seemed to start blowing within the bubble of light as you could see her hair start to blow, the wavy locks whisking about her face as the winds became stronger, and then started the sound.  That horrible awful sound as if one was surrounded by a gathering of tornadoes, and this is perhaps the closest that I can describe the wailing coming from within her tomb.  It was after the winds the worst came.  There was a blinding flash and at this moment, slowly at first and then gaining in speed, appeared small disks of light that sucked all the air from her body through the skin it touched.  They whirled around the cage in a loud brilliant frenzy, slashing her, cutting her, literally ripping her to pieces.  Small swirls of bright red started to swirl with the light and I started to feel nauseous, it was her blood… I had gone wrong…  My heart sped as I felt the tears start to stream down my face, what have I done?  What have I done?  It was not long after this that the gag had strangely loosened itself, and then carried away by the disks, bloodied and torn…

            …And the most blood-chilling, most horrifying scream came from her mouth that I could not even begin to describe….

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A/N- Sorry that it took me so long for this.  I will try and finish up chapter 2 as quickly as possible, it will take me a little bit longer because I still have to finish the rewrite and type it yet, though I hope to have it up here soon.  Anyways, hope you enjoyed the dream sequence of chapter 2!  Please review… :)


	3. Alive and Well, sort of

Disclaimer:  Still don't own it.  Wish I did, but I don't, so don't sue.

A/N:  Sorry it has taken so long, I have been distracted by other things, but I hope that you all don't mind too horribly much.  Anyways, here is the next chappie.

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Chapter 3- Alive and Well… Sort of.

I woke with a start, sweat practically dripping off of my because of that nightmare.  Without hesitation I quickly sat up, of course I regretted the motion the moment I reached the 'up' position.  My head suddenly exploded in pain and I raised my hands to my forehead, groaning as I did so.  Damn, that was brutal… 

Now a bit disoriented I forced myself to stand up, work my way out of my lab and to the bathroom.  I must have fallen asleep while I was working and had forgotten to take my dreamless sleep potion.  THAT was a memory I would prefer NOT to remember, though that theory seemed to apply to most of my younger memories.  It was bad enough that girl's scream rose within my mind everyday; I would rather not relive it every night as well.  Forcing the thoughts of the nameless muggleborn witch out of my mind, I took out my want and drowsily muttered a small charm that immediately filled the sink with water.  It was something I always had to do because my rooms belonged to an old fashioned attendant when the school was first formed, and of course there were no faucets.  I dipped my hands into the cool liquid, leaned down and then brought my hands to my face for the shock; it always helped me wake up in the morning.  After a moment of deep breaths I groggily looked up to the mirror just above the sink.  I gasped at what it was that I saw within the reflection and I rubbed my eyes.  Unfortunately, and to my horror, what I saw within it remained.

In a rush of a moment the events that perspired the night before re-entered my mind.  The explosion… I was alive… But… There had definitely been a side effect to it, the accident.  I stared at myself in the mirror, entirely horrified at what I saw staring back at me.  What I saw just could not be possible, it defied all logic, and so out of curiosity and horrible confirmation I brought my hand to my face to see if it were true, hesitantly touching my skin and nose… Unfortunately what I saw in the bloody mirror was only reinforced after the touch.  I closed my eyes, half leaning onto the old sink, bringing my fingers to the bridge of my nose as I fought to control my temper.  This couldn't be happening… It would ruin everything… Damn it all!

It was just like looking at an old photograph of, a bright young face, long slender slightly hooked nose, youth soft skin tightly stretched across an elegant face, and of course, greasy slightly past the shoulder length black hair.  I took a deep breath and decided to look down at myself.  My clothes fit loosely though I still =THANKFULLY= had retained my true height.  My skin had regained that 'glow' to it that is only possible in youth, it was still extremely pale, but a creamier pale instead of the sallow unhealthy color Albus always complained to me about.  I was horrified.  I had created a youthening potion, and here I was, looking freshly 18 years of age.  Disgusting.  I didn't want this- didn't NEED this.  I clenched my jaw, sank down upon my knees and then rested my head upon the rim of the sink to gather my thoughts.  Well… It could have been worse… I could have died, though I don't see where that would have been a great loss to society.  There was also the high probability that this was a temporary situation; at least lets hope so anyways.  But for the moment I looked exactly as I had when I was in my seventh year of Hogwarts in my 18th year of age.  Oh joy, I just couldn't bear the happiness I feel towards this… situation.  I gave a quick look at the time… I now had precisely twenty minutes before my first class, first year potions, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, last class 7th year Advanced Potions and understanding.  At least I was already dressed…

Wait a moment… I can't teach in this condition! A momentary panic beset me before my logic unlocked itself from within the back of my mind and beat me over the head with a big 'think' stick. -A basic illusion charm- Yes, that would work, it would make it appear as though I were normal... In one swift movement I was back upon my feet and I then quickly set the charm, concentrating on what I looked like before this, like normal.  I soon felt the charm set in and I dared a look back into the mirror.  A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I looked upon my sallow face fully restored to its usual horridness.  I felt a sneer creep upon my face and it reflected into the mirror.  Yes, truly dreadful.  No wonder my students cowered before me.  I chuckled to self a moment and then I headed out of my rooms.  I took the back way to the dungeons, thankfully I was unnoticed, and quickly on to the classroom.  Of course it was already full, those damnable early… Ok, right on time students.  I felt my undeserved anger flare and I suppressed it as much as I could.  I looked at the class and smirked a moment; well, I had to take it out somehow…

"Good morning class." I hissed to them as I barged into the room, the door slamming to the sidewall effectively.  I walked quickly to the front of the class and turned on them.  "If you would please turn to pages 70, and 81 for your next assignment." I usually gave a bit of a lecture at the beginning of class, but the hell with it, I was in no mood for goody goody chitchat.  Before I was able to speak again I seen a hand rise.  I glared at her a moment and then walked towards her slowly.  "Ms. Hazel… It seems you are… eager to start the day, would you, perhaps, astound us with your magnificent amount of knowledge this morning?"  Her eyes went wide and she hesitantly lowered her head and then cleared her throat.

"Oh… Yes well, last class you had said we would be doing the potion you told us of at the end of last class." Hmm… Now that I think of it that IS what I had said.  Ah well, I raised my brow.

"Yes, that is what I was going to do.  Pity though, it seems that I have changed my mind…" I trailed off and then turned from the gaping Ravenclaw girl, smirking as I did so.  After his, the rest of my day passed by slowly as class after class came and went, my illusion thankfully held up, and so far unnoticed.  It was the next class I was looking forward to in its complicity.  A class ho took the time to understand the sheer importance of potions, who didn't mind my abhorring personality- at least enough to where they had decided potions we more important than an egotistical, sneering brooding professor who could hardly stand most of his students.  I sighed, for the moment the room was empty so I could afford the luxury of such an action.  Everyone had expected me to 'lighten up' when the dark lord was defeated, but I just couldn't do it.  At first I had tried, truly I had, but… It wasn't that I couldn't stand the little brats, as I actually DO care for my students, but they were all so damned annoyingly impossible.  Most of them refused to do their work, especially those two dunderheads from the 'golden trio', especially Potter, the idiot.  I had given up hope it was even possible for him to actually win.  I had tried… TRIED desperately to get the boy to understand the importance of what it was I was teaching him in his fifth year, but he completely… Oh damn him anyways.  It had to have been a fluke, him winning against Voldemort like that.  After all he had said himself he was not sure exactly how he had done it.

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A/N- Chapter three as I promised… I am sorry it took so long, it is actually part two of chapter two with one more part to go, but I decided it would be easier to break it all down.  I should have the next part up in a couple of days.  


	4. Lovely

A/N- Yet another piece of the story :) Yay for chapter four lol.  Anyways, the next chapter should be up within the next week.  Hope you enjoy!

As for the questions- 

Lillinfields- Definitely Het.  The pairing will be eventually with Hermione.

Meyer- When Severus talked to Voldemort it was in a flashback before he had come to Dumbledore.  Voldemort is dead, but the remaining deatheaters are still recruiting and are trying to find a replacement for their fallen lord.  Hope that answers your question.

Disclaimer- I own the Diary's Milk Potion and the Mendella Tether.  Yup, that is all, the rest belongs to J.K.Rowling.

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Chapter 4- Lovely… 

            The only one from Gryffindor who was worth my while was Granger, as odd as that might sound.  In truth the only thing that I did not like about the girl was the fact she was a Gryffindor and the other being that she hung out with Harry Potter- the-boy-who-I-cannot-stand.  Everyone assumed I hated the girl but it was quite the contrary actually.  I admired her, her mind and her desire for knowledge, she reminded me a bit of myself at her age in that respect.  Unfortunately I was also attracted to her, an impossible situation really.  For one, she was my student, and I was old enough to be her father.  I groaned, I'm sure she was sent here to torment me…

            Soon the class filed in, mostly fifteen minutes early, and the last of them came in at about eight minutes before class began.  At this moment I had to work very hard to suppress the smile that daunted behind the edges of my mouth, threatening to spring itself loose.  Oh how I love these students… and this was only their second class.  I had decided the last class to allow the students a free class- for study- for their other classes.  I figure that since I shall be taxing them quite vigorously all year, I should not dump on them the immense workload on their very first day of class.  So I will start them out now on their second day of class.  I stood as tall and brooding as I could muster and then headed to my podium.

            "Welcome to Advanced Potions, class.  I DO hope all of you are ready and willing to work hard for this cla-ass" My voice had been barely above a whisper, but the fluctuation was apparent.  Bloody Hell… I cleared my throat and continued on.  "Un-like your previous classes with me, I will expect much more work from you, and as always, handed in promptly.  Though I should say, judging from you who are in this class this should not be much of a problem.  For once, this one and only time I shall say this, but everyone seated within this room is by far the best students I have had this year." I briefly passed my gaze to Draco who held himself proudly to my usual silent compliment to him, and then quickly risked a glance to Ms. Granger, who seemed somewhat sell-shocked from the compliment paid to her.  I smirked.  "Potions is by far a very serious subject to attend to as these are still very dark times we live, to spite the fact that He who must not be named had been defeated." I paused and passed my eyes over the class who was intently listening to me and walked out from my podium and stalked in the front of the class.  

"You fortunate few have grasped the meaning and importance of this subject than others…" I lingered upon this word intentionally, "who have failed to grasp what the importance of learning such a beautiful art such as potions.  You will have an intense workload, and the things we study and do will be much more difficult than any of you are used to." Every single one of them, all eight of them I should say, gained a big toothy grin.  Oh yes, I will adore this class… Four Ravenclaw, two Hufflepuff's hehe… Oh Merlin I really should get over that.  Also one Gryffindor and one Slytherin.  It would figure that my own house would only produce one interested in potions.  Draco Malfoy, one of the three goals left to my life…  

            "Now then, who can tell me the use of powdered baby Mandrake Root in a potion and cite an example?" For a moment there was complete silence and no hands were volunteering themselves.  I had been a left over question from my other seventh year class and I asked, perhaps, in hope that one of these students would know the answer though it was not in any of their books for THIS class, at least not on the subject I had them read.  Just as I was about to give up and sigh, I seen a familiar hand slowly raise into the air- one that had not risen in at lest a year prior.  I smirked as I raised my brow to her. "Ms. Granger, enlighten us, if you will." A brief look of shock passed her features a moment before she regained her composure.

            "Yes, Baby Mandrake Root, or Micro Mantrigora in powdered form is used in potions to help open the minds of the subjects.  Although it is less potent than the adult form of the same plant, it is still a very useful ingredient but is not used often in potions due to the tendency it has to produce side effects to the potions that it is used in.  An example of a potion that uses this is a lesser-known potion called the Diary's Milk Potion, and is used to connect the minds of the subjects, it is also used in the Mendella Tether, though its use in this potion is not fully known, it does produce a peculiar side-effect." I nodded my approval to her.

            "Thank you Ms. Granger for your explanation, and you are quite correct.  In case any of you might be wondering, there will be no points awarded during this class for research, behavior or correct answers, for in THIS class, it is what I will expect from all of you.  However, inappropriate behavior, tardiness or lack of work WILL produce a detention or in severe cases loss of points." I glared momentarily at an in particular Hufflepuff who occasionally lacked in work in previous classes and then continued on.  "Now then, will you all open your texts to page 439, Mr. Malfoy, if you will, start the reading on the third paragraph from that page." So the class continued, an interactive ray of discussion and answers and possible solutions to problems in works from my other classes.  Yes, definitely a bright bunch, this one.  I could already see the possibilities with them…

            All too soon the class ended and I reluctantly let them go with a homework assignment of five neatly written pages of research on the need for perfect timing in potions due the beginning of next class."  They gathered their things and left my class, some more slowly than others and for some reason Ms. Granger lingered.  I stayed sitting at my desk ruffling through the messed up clutter also known as 'homework' that still needed grading.  I soon seen a shadow playing across my desk, obviously the girl wanted my attention.  "P… Professor Snape… Um, I was wondering if I might speak with you…" The girl trailed off and I allowed my eyes to lazily wonder up to her.

            "Yes Ms. Granger, what is it you wish to say?" She stuttered a moment and then cleared her throat.

            "Yes, well…" She bit her lip… Oh for the love of Merlin.

            "Will you continue with what you were going to say, for if you are not I have papers to mark do… to grade." I gave her a hard stare as she composed herself.

            "I was wondering if you… you know, your voice sounds different." Just by the sheer unexpectedness of that statement, I am sure my shock must have shown on my face before I was able to school it back to its normal sneer.  I stood from my chair and loomed over her as to be as threatening as possible. I had not realized that this age thing had also affected my voice and I had no intention of letting the school brain figure out my little secret.  I lowered my voice into something just above a whisper.

            "Please, in the name of Merlin, the me THAT is NOT what you have stayed behind to say." Her eyes grew wide a moment.

            "Oh… Oh my, I… I really didn't think I said that out loud…" I groaned, and then nearly brought my fingers to the bridge of my nose… an irritating habit really.  I stopped myself from finishing the motion, as it would actually reveal my illusion.  I swear this girl existed solely to annoy me, nearly as much as Longbottom and Potter.  Well, perhaps NOT as much as them, but still… I flopped my hand down to the side as I noticed the hopeless look that entered so many faces just before they were brought before a gather of deatheaters.  My stomach churned a moment and I sighed.  Damnable conscience.

            "Listen Ms. Granger, you have no need to be afraid of me, you are in the most advanced potions class this school has to offer at this time.  You are free to ask me any questions, so **please **just ask…" Do not ask me why it is I spoke this so softly to her.  Perhaps it is because of the look she had, or the fact that I had just had that dream, but I felt a small weight lift from my chest as she smiled at me.  See?  I **could **be nice when I actually desired to be…

            "Of course Professor Snape.  The true reason I've come to speak with you is the fact that I wish to research further on a potion called Asvriedare, a potion that-"  I held up my hand to pause her speech.

            "I know fully well what the potion IS Ms. Granger.  It is a potion that heals mutations on the body and some lesser cancers." I paused, now fully interested in what she might say to the question I was to ask her, "May I ask WHY you have the desire to research this in particular potion?" I suppose I spoke to harshly this time as a panicked look crossed her lovely features briefly.  Lovely… I shook my head of that in particular thought and tilted my head at her.

            "I… I'm sorry to have bothered you Professor Snape, it was just a curiosity is all…" She started to say something else, but then quickly turned to run out of the classroom, at least that was my best guess at that type of reaction occurred often with me.  I groaned softly, damn the young female species.

            "**MS. GRANGER!**" She halted mid-step and quickly turned on the ball of her feet to once again face me.  "I did not give you permission to leave yet, now have I?" She quickly shook her head. "I did not think so." This time it was I that turned from her.  "Come here after dinner and I will give you a pass to the restricted section along with a list of books you will need to research this, but in return for this… 'Privilege', I will desire a ten page report on this potion." She gave a half laugh and I heard her footsteps as they neared the door.  I heard the door start to open, and then it paused.  In my horrid curiosity I looked over my shoulder and seen her standing there staring at me with a smile on her face.  I raised a brow and she spoke softly.

            "Thank you Professor Snape, I will be here promptly after dinner."

            "I will expect it." I hissed over my shoulder and then she gave me a curt nod, and then continued to quietly leave the classroom.

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A/N- Thanks for reading another chapter.  Please review, I love to get them, and I do read them all.


	5. Trouble with House Elves

A/N- Here is another chapter for your reading pleasure.  And thank you to those few that have reviewed this.  I will try and get the next chapter up soon for you, and once again, I look forward to your reviews.  :)

Disclaimer- Alas, but it is not mine *dramatic gesture*

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**Chapter 5- The Trouble With House Elves**

As soon as she was gone I allowed a sigh to escape my lips.  I flopped down heavily into my chair… Lovely?  I thought of her face as lovely?  Now I DID put my fingers to the bridge of my nose.  Sure, I had thought of the girl as beautiful before, but never before felt the hormonal lust while noticing it.  Oh hell… truly… I truly hope this will not last that long.  I had suffered enough from my hormones what I was younger, and I was glad to be rid of the annoyance, I certainly did NOT desire them again.  If this horrific thing was not over by morning… If it is not over by morning I would be forced to go to Albus, not something I would desire at all.  That would mean that, for when it counted, I had failed.  Again.  For the third time, oh hell.

            Attempting to clear my mind of my failures, I summoned the house elf Dobby.  He appeared in my room almost instantly.  "Is there anything Dobby can do for you sir?" I gave him a quick nod to reassure him I was not in a foul mood, and he visibly relaxed.

            "Yes actually, two things.  The first, I would like to have my dinner brought to me in here, and second, if you would inform the headmaster that I will be working late tonight, so I will be dining within these rooms." I paused before adding, "He worries far too much for me." The elf nodded.

            "If Dobby may, sir… Perhaps it is because the headmaster cares for Professor Snape that he worries of him so?" I gave the creature a hard glare and it quickly left my presence, but not before muttering, "Dobby shall iron his hands sir, for his intrusion." I sighed, noting to myself to look at its hands when it returned.  If there were no burns on them yet, I must chastise him properly, and tell him perhaps a bath would be more beneficial torture… At least that wasn't harmful to it, like most of the tortures that was ingrained within his memory.  I frowned, it would be no use to attempt to change their ways, the house elves, it was hard enough to make my own relax from its own masochism.  

Sighing at the hopelessness of the school's house elves, I pulled out a book of blank paper as well as my quill to write Ms. Granger her pass and upon the back of it, the list of books that may be helpful for her research.  Her question had surprised me, I wonder what the girl will do once out of Hogwarts?  A mediwitch most likely.  I suddenly felt an itching sensation on my left arm, and for the first time today, oddly, I felt the urge to look at it.  I took a deep breath, it was gone then this strange age catastrophe wouldn't be quite so terrible as I might have made it out to be… Slowly I lifted the sleeve from my arm to uncover it.  I felt my heart lodge itself within my throat with a mixed emotion; perhaps of horror, as well as happiness all at the same bloody time.  The mark was still there, sure enough… But… It was so light now; it was just a slight overcastted shadow of its former darkened self.  I sighed, not exactly what I had in mind, but it wasn't a **complete **disaster, besides, this OTHER effect of the potion would most likely dissipate soon.  A smile once again fell softly on my lips, it wasn't completely gone, but this was much, MUCH more progress than I had ever produced with any of my other ministrations before.  That was a partial success to me, and so Albus would not be thoroughly discouraged of me as of yet.

            After a few hours of marking down papers, grading and growling at the incompetence of some of my students, I finished my work.  Soon afterwards, Dobby returned, with my food.  Ironed hands and all- Damn it all. He was about to leave, but I paused him.  Damn my conscience.  "Wait."

            "Has Dobby done something to offend you sir?" I watched the creatures large ears suddenly droop, and wring its bandaged hands.  I watched it for a long moment before I answered.

            "No, of course you haven't." You may call it a weakness, but I had a soft spot for these pathetic creatures.  I had tried many times before to get it to understand that, no matter how foul a mood I was in, I felt no ill will towards it.  I stood and walked to him, and took out a healing salve from a near bookshelf, as well as something else that was sitting there.  Perhaps this time he would take the hint and maybe stop ironing his hands every time he bloody well spoke to me.  "Hold out your hands." He stepped back from me.  I clenched my jaw.  Why make anything at all easy, no, I just don't deserve such things.

            "Surely Master Severus Snape mustn't wish to see hands of Dobby, Dobby is just fine, Dobby is used to such pains, sir." I loomed above him, looking down at him hopefully with a dangerous glint in my eyes.  If you desire the cooperation of an abused house elf, you must use the more… aggressive tactics for the right effects.

            "Show me your hands, immediately, else I will be forced to make you do such and action.  _If _I were you, I would suggest the _first _option, rather than the latter." I tilted my head as I waited for him to respond to me.  After a moment it nervously took a step towards me, and shakily held its hands out to me.  I knelt down and quickly took the bandages off of his burnt and now oozing burns, and applied the salve to his hands before he could jerk them away from me.  Just as I could feel him start to tug I grabbed its wrists.  Finally it stopped and it looked at me with a strange look upon its face.

            "Dobby does not understand sir, Dobby deserves these burns for misspeaking to you sir, Dobby needs no help, Dobby does not deserve it sir." I kept hold of his wrists as I answered him.

            "Dobby, I desire to help your hands.  You must stop this, I do not desire for you to go out and harm yourself for everything you do without complete permission, or every sour look I happen to give in your basic direction.  I happen to be a sour man, and if everyone in this school did that, there would never be any classes taught because they all would be spending their time with Poppy." He quietly nodded.  I had tried this conversation before, but to no avail.

            "Yes sir. Dobby understands you sir."

            "As you have said before.  Though this time I wish for you to heed those words." Before I let go of his wrists I slipped a small silver chain around one of them, and closed the clasp.  I stood as he jerked his wrist back and peered at the bracelet in wonder.  Suddenly his eyes went wide and moisture started to form.  Oh dear.

            "Oh!  Sir… Oh sir!" A bit of wailing, "Why, why have you given Dobby this bracelet, Dobby does not deserve it, sir!" A bit more wailing, and then he blew his nose on his clothing.  I took this chance to speak to it before it started again with its infernal wails.

            "Call it a token of my appreciation.  I will not say for what that appreciation is for, also I wish for you not to touch anything for one day.  If anyone has any quarrels with this, send them immediately to me.  You are dismissed." He looked up at me with his big eyes.

            "Thank you sir! Than-" I interrupted his near rant before he could truly start again.

            "It is nothing.  Leave me now before I decide to change my mind." I turned from him, and by the time I looked back he was gone.  I shook my head bringing my fingers to my nose briefly before I sat back down and ate my dinner in silence.  When finished, I summoned a different elf, which immediately took my plate away.  Hopefully Dobby was following my instructions for once.  Unfortunately, knowing the elf he would most likely bandaging his hands up again and attempting to keep himself busy.  A day off was of course inconceivable.  

I sighed and cleared off a small spot on my desk for the latest book I was reading –_New Wonders and Scarcely Known facts of New Age Potion making_-.  So far it was truly fascinating.  One of these years I may actually convince Albus to attend those two years worth of courses at Vedrian's Advanced Magic Institute for the New Age Potions major I desire.  Of course it was a major that required about 5-6 years of study, but I knew I could finish within two.  After all, that is how long it had taken me to finish my potions major, and one additional year to earn the title of master, so I had no doubts.  Unfortunately for me though, was the fact that it was an inconvenience for me to leave for such an extensive amount of time, so I have waited.  Waited to tell Albus as well, though I have mentioned it to him on occasion, though have never truly asked for his permission to go.  Perhaps it was because I didn't wish to leave…  I shook the thought out of my head as I heard a knock upon my door.  Hermione…  "Come in Ms. Granger."  I kept my head turned down to my desk as the door creaked open and I heard her footsteps slowly draw nearer to me after the door had once again clicked itself shut.

"Hello Professor Snape."


	6. Another Side Effect

A/N- Sorry for the slight delay, I have been semi depressed lately because I got my story Forced Secrets deleted from here the other day.  Which sucked, but that is ok, I am going to be putting it back up, but I have lost the 70 some oddball reviews that went to it.  A bit depressing.  But oh well, and here I am, staring at the notebook, and realize I should be typing this.  LOL, so here is your next chapter.  It might be another week or so before the next one is up, so please be patient…  Anyways, I love your reviews, so keep 'em comin!  

Disclaimer- Once again, alas, it is not my own… *sob*

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**Chapter 6- Yet another side effect**

"Hello Professor Snape." I nodded my hand in acknowledgement to her.  She walked up to my desk.  "You said for me to come after dinner."

            "Yes, I did, didn't I?" I paused and flipped through the papers on my desk.  Oh dear… "Just a moment, I had it here a moment ago…" Oh sure, let the school know it all in on the secret that you're a complete and utter scatterbrain.  Brilliant Severus, just plain brilliant.  After a _very _long moment I finally found what it was I was looking for and pulled it out of a large stack of papers.  "Ah, here it is." I gave a quick look to her and seen her face contorted into a half smile as if she were attempting to keep herself from laughing and I sent her my best glare.  It faded, and I smirked.  "As I was saying, this is the pass to the restricted section of the library, _please _use it only for the consigned books, and NOT for other personal literature as it were...  I do not appreciate students misusing the occasional privileges I allow for."

            "But sir, I wouldn't-" I raised my brow to her.  I knew she had snuck in there a few times before.  I had been told of the Polyjuice Potion she had brewed in her second year, and although I admired her for her accomplishment, it irked me to ill extent that she went against the rules to do it.  She understood my hidden meaning and slowly mouthed an 'oh' with her lips.  "Thank you Professor Snape, when will you expect the written report?"

            "In exactly one week after dinner, so the same time as it is now." I looked back down to the papers on my desk and picked up my quill again.  "Now then if that is all, I have work to be doing.  On the back of the pass you will see a list of books that you may find helpful for your research.  Goodnight Ms. Granger, you may leave."  I looked up at her again and instantly regretted it.  She was smiling at me softly, at me, for what I had said.  I averted my eyes again, but I felt my chest tighten with the odd feeling.  It was because she was getting her way, not because of me.  I fought the feeling and pushed it from my mind.  She was my student.  STUDENT.

            "Goodnight Professor Snape, and thank you again." I brought my head up from the papers again after I heard the door softly shut behind her.  I sighed, and nearly ran my hand through my hair, but stopped at the memory that I hadn't washed in nearly three days… Oops.  My mind must have been too occupied for me to remember… Oh well.  Perhaps tomorrow.  I looked at the door again where I seen Ms. Granger last.  Now that I didn't have to add points for anything in this class, I could show a more… positive attitude towards the rest of my students, Ms Granger included of course.  It had nothing to do with the fact that… Oh dear, there I go again.  I cleared my head and once again focused on the papers in front of me, zoning everything else out as I corrected them.

            "Severus." I suddenly felt a hand upon my shoulder and I jumped, and may I also mention not very gracefully either.  I turned angrily to the person who startled me, but my featured and mood lightened once I saw who the culprit was.

            "Headmaster, what might I owe the pleasure of this meeting?" He smiled to me kindly.

            "You have taken the potion." He spoke in a tone that made his words a statement and naught in the form of a question.  I clenched my jaw; he has the worst timing, honestly.  I did not wish to deal with explanations to him now.

            "Yes…" I trailed off quietly failing to see where the man wished to go with this, and with Albus in particular, one could never be too careful.

            "Mmm, I have guessed as much.  It seems you are still breathing so… Might I assume that everything has gone well?" His words spoke in complete contrast of what his facial expression was screaming at me… All of my years at full practice of occlumency, of how careful I was, this man read me without needing to know what was inside my mind.  He knew… Damn him.

            "You might say that." I decided to play his little game, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  He looked over his spectacles at me and then fiddled with something on my desk pretending to look at it.

            "It is nice of you to have helped Ms. Granger, Severus.  Perhaps you no longer find her such an impudent pain, then?"

            "I never-" He held up his hand for me to stop and I complied.  He smiled.

            "I know Severus.  I do believe that I know your antics by this time.  You ADMIRE the girls mind, not abhor her like you attempt to make people think.  In fact, she reminds me a bit of a younger, more female version of you, in a way." I clenched my jaw, and was preparing myself for a witty retort when he again held up his hand to silence me.  "I understand, I am delving into areas in which are unnecessary."

            "Yes, you are." He suppressed a laugh and started to turn from me.

            "I apologize for my intrusion, I do know how you feel about people getting into your personal affairs, but if you ever need to tell me anything, feel free to do just that, and I will give my word not to over react to what ever it is you might say." With that he walked out of the room and I stared after him. Strange, strange man…  I sighed.  He knew that something had happened though I don't think he knew exactly _what _had happened precisely.  If this potion effect hasn't worn off by morning I would have to tell him then.  I shuddered, what happens if it is permanent?  I quickly pushed the though from my mind, I couldn't afford for that to happen, I must go back to normal… I just simply must.

            After about an hour I gave up on the hopeless mess of assignment papers on my desk and then headed to my quarters; I arrived there thankfully without interruption.  Once I finally closed the doors behind me, I removed the illusion, gulped down a small dose of dreamless sleep potion, flopped down into my large cushy bed and promptly fell asleep.

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            I woke with an incredible headache, and brought my fingers to the bridge of my nose.  Oh hell, why me?  In immediate regret I forced myself to sit up, and then after a minute or two of properly put and choice curses, I swung my feet over the bed.  I took a deep breath to help myself concentrate on the task of standing, trying to ignore the searing pain within my skull, and before I knew it, I was doing precisely that-standing.  Of course it had taken me a moment of holding onto the wall for the sudden wave of dizziness to pass, but I was standing.  Good, now for the cabinet… Slowly I made my way for hit, opened it and then took out my bottle of 'Mi-gone for Migraines' stupidly titled, the most horridly wretched thing you will ever taste, and the most brilliant thing ever concocted since the creation of the cauldron…. And… The bloody bottle was empty of every last damned drop of the bloody substance.  Bloody Hell.  Just like the idiot that I can be, I slammed the cabinet door shut and a sharp piercing pain reverberated throughout my entire brain.  Oh bloody hell, if THAT wasn't the most brilliant thing to have ever done… Brilliant Severus, just plain brilliant…

            I sighed as I quickly put on my robe and started slowly and scotching along the wall, with a few breathers in between, for Poppy's.  When in short supply of necessary potions for ones health, sweet talk the local mediwitch for more.  Perfect plan really.  After a very long, long, long walk, I finally reached her door.  As I had become closer each step I took seemed to make my head explode in a new wave of pain.  I stared at her door a moment trying to figure out the time, but my head… Oh my head… Giving up on THAT thought, I proceeded to knock… Ouch.  Please let her answer… I did not wish to have to knock again; a single one was enough of a harsh sound upon my ears.

            Soon I heard a fumbling behind the door and then it opened slowly, revealing a night clad Poppy, something I could have done without seeing, but hey, for emergency sake… She yawned and looked at me skeptically a moment.  "There something I could do for you?" I winced.  Every word she spoke felt like a sharp blow to my head.  This migraine was getting worse and worse with every passing minute.

            "Poppy" my voice cracked and was low even for me.  My legs started to give out and I quickly put my hand on the wall, squeezing my eyes shut as I waited for the strange nauseating fuzzy feeling in my head to leave.  It didn't but instead became stronger, so I chose to speak again.  This was worse than just a migraine, something was seriously wrong with me.  "Poppy… I need… I…" I groaned.  Oh hell… The fuzzy feeling suddenly had started to tingle into numbness that started to spread throughout my body and colors started to swirl together in front of my eyes, blurring together in a kaleidoscope effect.  A strange monstrous came from Poppy, she was probably talking as this is what my logic told me, instead of the slow overly exaggerated guttural sounds I heard, but in truth it was hard for me to tell at the time.  I suddenly felt something bump me in the shoulder and I noticed just briefly that I was on the floor before the colors started to darken into blackness, which soon consumed my vision entirely.


	7. An Unexpected Revelation

Disclaimer- As I have said before, not mine. Except the poison Exitus Memoria. Other than that, nope.

A/N- :) Thank you for all the reviews, and as requested, here is the next chapter, finally. (Depending on what site you read this on, sorry for the wait... hehe.)

Anyways, here is the story.

Chapter 7- An Unexpected Revelation 

Hot… It was horribly and incredibly hot… and my head hurt. I laid half awake in the semi-soft bed, and then opened my eyes enough to pull the white sheet over my head. Wait a moment… White?! I quickly sat up in the bed, alarmed by the color of the sheets. My bed didn't have white sheets… Suddenly Poppy's voice came from beside me. "All right you, easy now. You just had a nasty fall there, and can't be moving around like that."

"Poppy?" I mumble and allowed myself to lie back down. I groaned and put my fingers to the bridge of my nose. "It feels as if my head is going to explode, or perhaps it already has, as it were." I waited for a reply and received only silence in return. I turned my head towards her to see the cause of her lack of reply, and found nothing but a blank stare coming from her. She rose.

"All right, enough with the games, boy. Who are you?" _What?_

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What do you mean _who_ am I?" That familiar tick hit my brow, a twitch that I only felt when I was extremely annoyed. Irritating woman. "We have worked together for over ten years, and if by now you cannot _recognize_ who I am, then surely you must have your head examined." Her brows lifted in confusion, and her mouth moved as if she were attempting to form a speech that was not there. As she attempting to work out her thoughts, the curtain to my 'room' was lifted back.

"Excuse me Poppy, might I have a word with him?" Albus? Honestly… Does that man ever even _ATTEMPT _to try and stop the evidence of him being completely omniscient? No, of course not, what fun would it be if he didn't always butt into everyone's business at the least opportune moment, simply to confuse the daylights out of them? Poppy looked to him, obviously confused, but then slowly nodded her head. As she left me alone with our stark-raving-mad headmaster, he came and sat down in a chair that conveniently was located next to the bed I was laying in. Then he looked over his spectacles at me. "I suppose that there might be something that you wish to tell me?"

_Tell him?_ I pondered his question for a moment before it hit me what he could possibly be asking of me. My eyes widened, _oh no…_I still can't possibly be… A quick look down at my body, revealed to me the awful truth. Bloody hell. "Merlin." I brought my fingers to the bridge of my nose again. I don't believe that I have ever invoked that name so many times before, within such a short span of just a few hours. Were the fates out to get me? Had I truly done so much wrong in my life to deserve such a… Ok, so perhaps I should not finish that in particular thought, in fact, strike it from existence. It was not precisely a thought that really needed to be answered.

Finally, after a few calming breathes, I raised my eyes back to him. "Well, I believe there was a… rather _small_ accident in my lab the other day. Absolutely nothing of importance, nor anything worth any concern over, outside of a minor appearance change, of course."

He leaned back and looked at me with an all-condemning grave look upon his face. I looked away from his gaze. "This is a very serious matter we are dealing with Severus, even as I am happy that all is not lost, all mostly meaning you of course. I must express to you, that you should have come here directly, as had you waited any longer than you already had to be treated, I fear it may have been fatal, this 'small' accident of yours."

I turned back to him slowly. "Fatal?" He gave me a curt nod, and before I realized what it was that I was doing, my thoughts transferred themselves to my traitorous tongue as I thought them. "_Pity_, the world must now suffer my presence yet even longer. I don't believe that many of the students would be all too happy of this."

His hand was suddenly upon my shoulder. "Severus, you know how it is that I feel towards your self-loathing." His voice was soft and consoling. I sighed.

"I apologize sir, I shall try and keep a tighter restraint upon my thoughts, lest you hear the constant thoughts I feel to my own well being."

He fell his hand from my shoulder and once again, briefly, peeped at me from over his spectacles. "I don't even like the fact that you think about your own death so consistently, or passively, Severus. But I will not pursue the matter any further, _for now_." His face then contorted into his more amused twinkling usual expression. "Though, it seems that somehow you have concocted both a youthening potion, as well as a rather effective poison. I would say congratulations, if it were not for this new revelation in your well-being, Severus. You may be wondering as to what happened last night as well?"

Poison? "What type of poison did I happen to produce?"

He seemed to ignore my question, and then continued on with his spiel. "It seems that after you arrived here, you passed out, and after seeing your eyes, along with the other symptoms as well of course, such as fast pulse, low temperature…" He cleared his throat, "Well anyway, Poppy recognized the symptoms of it. Rather potent as well. Tell me, have you been suffering from horrendous headaches since you have taken the potion?"

I answered him slowly, "Yes…"

He hummed. "Yes, I imagine that you would be. It would be rather odd for you not to have had anything peculiar at all happen, as to the strength of it in your system…" The old codger trailed off in thought, and I glared at him in annoyance. Why wouldn't he just simply answer my question?

"What, in the bloody name of Merlin, was the name of the poison, you old goat?" Oops. Why couldn't I simply keep my sour tongue still for once? Nothing like insulting the only friend you really have, Severus, you oaf. I closed my eyes momentarily to gain more control over the rising irritation that I was feeling. "Forgive me, Headmaster, it was uncalled for."

He chuckled. "It is quite all right, Severus, I imagine that you have had a very trying day, so for now it will be forgiven." I nodded. "Now then, where was I? Oh yes, the poison. It happens that you were poisoned with Exitus Memoria. It is a rather rare potion that I believe that you are quite familiar with, am I correct?" I am sure that all color had left my face at the mentioning of the name, as I am sure that I could feel all the blood rush away from my face, if that is even really possible. I nodded slowly. **_SHIT._**

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A/N- Hope you liked the chapter, it won't be too long before the next one is up. And, as always, I love to get reviews :)


	8. Revelations

Disclaimer: The usual saying that it once again, is not mine.

A/N- Well, here is the next chapter! Thank you for all of your reviews!

_Last Time:_

_"Now then, where was I? Oh yes, the poison. It happens that you were poisoned with Exitus Memoria. It is a rather rare potion that I believe that you are quite familiar with, am I correct?" I am sure that all color had left my face at the mentioning of the name, as I am sure that I could feel all the blood rush away from my face, if that is even really possible. I nodded slowly. **SHIT.**_

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**Chapter 8- Revelations**

"Yes, I am quite familiar with that poison." I noticed his gaze become a bit more… intense, and felt the sudden need to explain a bit further. "Exitus Memoria is a poison that destroys a part of the takers brain, as it were. It is usually taken in extremely slight doses as a more effective, permanent way to erase a memory, compared to a memory charm, which can be reversed in eventuality. It has to be made carefully, for if you give the poison too much strength, or take too much of it, it can easily be lethal. This is the reason it is no longer in use, in commonplace." I looked away from him again. He knew my secret, and I knew he would have me confess it personally to him. May I recount the fact that this was easily becoming one of the worst weeks of my life? I continued, as I seemed to be receiving the 'silent treatment' from him. "How potent was the poison, per chance?"

"According to Poppy, the amount in your system should have killed a man with a fairly good resistance to it, within two hours." His voice was low, as if he were accusing me of something. Not that he was wrong…

"I suppose that the only reason I did not notice earlier is that I am somewhat… immune… to the effects the potion creates. So I figured that it must have been a very strong dose indeed to have effected me as much as it has."

"Severus…" His voice became lower, and I gulped down the slight panic that rose in my blood, and refused to look at him, lest I actually desired to see the pain in the man's eyes. Never… I had never intended him to find out of this, especially not in this manner.

"Yes?"

"If I may ask, how is it that you can be at all immune to a poison that has the ability to kill in anything over a half teaspoon of a very DILUTED version of it?" I clenched my jaw, he knew. He knew everything, why did he insist that I spell it out for him? I tell you, this man is a sadist…

"I have taken it before. At first in smaller amounts, and then in larger doses as time went on. It was required of me after a few experiments that I had worked on in potions for You Know Who, and then later to help me rid myself of unwanted memories. I know that a memory charm for those would have sufficed just as well, but…" I faltered here, knowing the concern he would show for my reasoning to it. But it would be a simple way to die if somehow I mixed it wrong, accidentally made it too strong. Unfortunately after a time, my memory was not affected by it any longer, and I just received headaches for my efforts, so I had stopped taking it. He would have been horrified at what I had done, but now he knew… I felt his hand on my shoulder again.

"I understand Severus, though I will say once more, that no matter your opinion on this subject, you life **_is _**worth something, and though you don't believe this to be so, you would be greatly missed as well."

I kept my eyes averted from his own, not wanting him to see the sadness, loneliness and disbelief that I felt from him finding out, and his statement. I have been told this is my weakness, that my eyes betray me to those with a trained eye to it. Out of everyone, Albus has always seemed to be the best at reading me, so I looked outside the window. It was sunny outside, birds were chirping happily on the windowsill, and… Oh dear. "Albus, what time is it?" I started to panic, and swirled my head back to him. Damn my original cause, my 'reflection time', as annoying as it was, now was over with.

He removed his hand from my shoulder and began to chuckle. "It is currently about 2pm. Actually, it is precisely 2:19, if you wish to be exact." Ack.

I glared at him in horror. "Do forget the comment that I had made earlier about my statement being uncalled for, Albus, you _are _an old goat." Unfortunately for me, this only served to make the old prune laugh even harder than before. "This. Is. Not. Funny."

He wiped away a tear that had formed at his eye, and then sighed. "As it would seem Severus, as it would seem." A suspicious twinkle entered his eye, and I cringed, knowing full well, that particular twinkle usually was accompanied by some grand idea, or excuse from him.

"What oddities are you planning this time, my _dear _headmaster?"

He gave me an innocent look, raising his eyebrows lightly in surprise. "Oddities, my dear Severus? I haven't any such thing planned for you."

I raised my brow. "Are you admitting that perhaps you _are _planning something?"

I watched as one corner of his mouth twitched up into a brief smile. "Perhaps."

I turned back again to look out the window, with a new sense of dread. The only times that the man ever really avoided a subject, was either when he was prying me with information, as was just a few moments ago, or had a plan, or information in that matter, that he knew that I would not be very fond of. So, I stated the obvious. "I have missed my classes…" By the way, how in the world would I explain that?

"Yes, your classes have been cancelled for today, and we have contacted your replacement, so you needn't worry of tomorrow's classes." Replacement? Did that mean…? My eyes went wide in horror from his statement, and I felt my heart give a painful lurch, placing itself inside my throat.

"Albus, surely one mistake does not warrant my disbandment." He chuckled, and I swiveled my head back to him. I am sure that my horror, shock, and confusion were all quite evident on my face.

"You worry too much Severus, but alas, I do not know how I could tell your students of your… delicate condition, nor do I believe that it would go over very well with them. So, instead, I have hatched a plan…"

A/N- Just in case you are wondering, the literal translation of Exitus Memoria is End Memory in latin.


	9. The Headmaster Must be Crazy

A/N- Sorry for the humongous wait for this chapter, I had not realized that I had not updated in… Well forever really. I know this isn't very long, but I promise that I will not wait nearly as long for the next chapter.

Disclaimer- I claim Severus Snape and he will be my love-bunny. Snape gives me a very long glare WHAT?! I didn't say that I owned you… Really…

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**_Chapter 9- The Headmaster Must be Crazy_**

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A plan? Albus and 'plan' never usually worked in stride together in anything that was 'simple' by any means. It also gave me light satisfaction. I had been right, he was being two faced. I narrowed my eyes at him. "I _knew _you would."

He chuckled a moment before giving me a look that oddly resembled a smirk. There were times I wondered if this man was not truly meant to be a Slytherin. "As I was saying, I am going to do something for you. I am going to give you a two-year leave… Well by the time you leave due to the circumstances it will be closer to a three year leave, actually, but I see no other way for this to play out."

I crossed my arms. "What in the name of Merlin are you rambling on about?"

"I am simply giving you the chance to attend those classes at VAMI that you are always talking about." The classes? He was going to let me attend Vestrian? Surely this was too good to be true. Much to my shock and horror, I felt the sudden strange joy I felt to this news spread across my face into a big toothy grin, which I would assume to be an interesting sight had I only a mirror, though I probably would have screamed at the image. Or broke the mirror…

"Surely there must be a catch?" As the realization dawned on me, I asked the question, with Albus there was almost always a catch… A condition of terms if you will, to each and every favor he allotted those 'fortunate' enough to receive such thoughtless, helpful things. This occasion, I feared, would be no different than any other, for this man's sadistic humor was one of those 'little things' that people always forgot to mention when speaking of him.

"A catch?" His eyes sparkled with innocence. I _knew _it- there WAS a catch. "I wouldn't phrase it as a catch, necessarily, but more of an opportunity, if you will."

I schooled my expression into a sneer, and raised my brow. "Opportunity, headmaster?" I kept my tone as close as I could towards that of being bored. I wonder if he noticed.

He ignored the question though and instead continued to rattle on. "Or perhaps you might find it to be more of a second chance, a return to-" Return to? What in the bloody hell was he blabbering on about? "A return to yourself, a chance to get away from your normal duties as the head of Slytherin." He trailed off and I once again attempted to question the crazy man.

"What exactly are the terms you are speaking of?"

My voice brought his attention back to the present. He smiled and then held out his hand, which was conspicuously closed around something. "Lemon drop?"

Bloody, insufferable, miserable… He then opened his hand to reveal a very small, yet lumpy sack that more than likely held said candies. Did the man NEVER leave those stupid things behind? Honestly… I groaned and gave him a pointed stare, hoping that he could see the loathing coming from my eyes. "Would you happen to have one that would explode inside of my mouth? If your answer happens to be no, which is the most likely of cases, then I shall have to decline your rather… _gracious _offer." I spoke low with a slight hiss to my voice, which I have been told, produces and acid timbre to it.

He sighed as he retracted the small bag, changing his expression to one that was more somber. He sat back into the chair, closing his hands around each other. "It would seem that on such notice we weren't able to get a good replacement for you, else I would say for you to spend the remainder of the year in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley. But alas, it would seem that the only person willing with some sort of credibility, is not yet available until next year." He paused, so I took the opportunity to voice my thoughts.

"I do not see how this is a problem, Albus, I could finish out the year here, and then-" He held up his hand, and I stopped.

"Excuse my distress Severus, but I cannot allow you to teach in your current condition. It may not be so very wise to reveal to young sources the disposition of the rose." He looked over his glasses and I decided I better figure out his hidden meaning… Then… Oh…

"I see." Albus had sometimes used the word 'rose' to refer to my being a spy. It was something that he found similar, beautiful and seemingly serine, but very painful if one looked closer. I was the 'perfect' servant of the master, yet I had a part in killing him. A thorn if one will. Of course I couldn't teach like this, if the children of the left over deatheaters found out of my exploits to remove the mark… It was not precisely a thought I wished to dwell upon. "What is it that you suggest then? For me to spend the entire year hiding in my rooms?"

Just as I finished with my 'trademark' sneer, he smiled; and not just 'smiled', he SMILED- that damned unnerving smile of his, that he every so often donned. I involuntarily shuddered. There were times that I swear that Albus inspired fear more quickly then the Voldemort ever had, and that smile was usually the root of them. It meant he was about to do something 'amusing'. And when I say 'amusing', I mean _his _amusing, not my own, for the things that he came up with is usually purely at my own expense, yet entirely fun for him. I hated that look. Two prime examples: When he had me tutor 'the boy wonder' two years ago, and then again when he had Lupin return. Oh yes, this must not be good…

"The answer is simple, my dear Severus, as you already look the part. I plan for you to simply masquerade as a seventh year student."


End file.
